How to stay confident in the midst of disappointment

Disappointment comes in many forms, at the most unexpected times, it doesn’t discriminate or care who it’s facing or who it’s hurting.

I saw my dad drive away one Saturday afternoon, never to come home again. I came out of my shell and grew close with friends in a new city, only to have to move cities again. I applied for universities, got accepted into each one only to find out I couldn’t afford to live away from home. I met a bunch of entrepreneurs who took me under their wing and who I dedicated everything to, only to end up kicked to the curb. Disappointment after disappointment weighed heavy on me. It affected my ability to hope and to dream. I stopped dreaming, I stopped being myself, I hardened myself to the good things God had for me in fear that my heart may hurt again.

Have you felt this way? Maybe you didn’t get into the college you applied to, maybe the bank rejected that mortgage you had been praying for, maybe the friends you counted on have abandoned you, maybe you paid one debt off only to come across another emergency that puts you in even more debt.

Disappointment can cripple you, or it can teach you. It can teach you a new way of thinking, it can give you a new perspective, it can help you to think outside the box, it can help mold you into a better person. Or it can hold you back, it can harden your heart, it can keep you anchored to a life of bitterness and depression.

As many of you know, I have been working on creating planners for 2019. My plan was to launch no later than the second week of January. Welp. That didn’t happen. And then my next plan was to launch the first week of February. Um, guys its February 18 and I still have no planners on my website for you to buy. The disappointment of not having things fall into place the way I planned devastated me. I allowed it to cripple me, I moped around the house for 2 weeks, cried, ate way too much cereal to make me feel better, I did everything you aren’t supposed to do!

But God is good, and He’s given me a new day to start again, to pick myself up, to move forward, to encourage you as I have been encouraged.

You can remain confident in the midst of disappointment, and here are a few ways how.

  1. Look beyond your current circumstance

    It’s easy to only look at the now, it’s easy to dwell in the pity party and to stay there. But don’t! The pity party is dangerous, stay out of it and look at the big picture. What does that mean? It means asking yourself, “Is this one situation going to matter in 90 days? Will it matter one year from now? How about 5 years from now?” Know that there is more to life than this one situation, this one trial, as cliche as it is - this too shall pass.

  2. Ask yourself, “How can this situation serve me? What can I learn from this?”

    Look at the situation that you’re in and ask yourself, “How can this situation serve me? And what can I learn from this?” If you were rejected from the 3rd employer in a row, one thing you can learn is developing perseverance if you don’t give up, and maybe you just need to work on your interview skills. There is something to learn in each disappointment.  When you know that, you can remain confident that the trial is only strengthening you not breaking you.

  3. Remain hopeful

    Maintain your confidence means maintaining your hope no matter the circumstance. It’s a choice to have hope and to have joy when things aren’t going the way you planned or imagined. But know that there is something good coming out of the darkness, out of the disappointment you’ve come across. Look forward to the future, look forward to the time when you are through this valley and on to the mountaintop. Don’t stop in the valley, move forward to the mountaintop even when it’s hard to see.

What disappointments are crippling you? Today, I encourage you to look beyond your current circumstances, ask yourself how your disappointment can serve you and what it can teach you, and lastly stay hopeful. Disappointments are not meant to be dragged forever, actually they weren’t meant to be dragged at all. Let it go, remain confident in the plans that God has for you.

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Comment below how your disappointments have helped shaped you into a better version of yourself!